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By Grace Alegba
An author and gender equality advocate, Mrs Chinwe Enyinna, has urged women and girls to make informed choices when selecting life partners and seek support when faced with abusive relationships.
Enyinna made the call in Lagos during the launch and soirée of her book, My Garden of Thorny Roses.
The author, a registered nurse in Nigeria and United Kingdom, said the book was inspired by her personal experiences and the struggles of many women trapped in unhealthy and abusive relationships.
According to her, many young women lack access to honest conversations and guidance on choosing suitable life partners and recognising warning signs in relationships.
“Coming from Nigeria and seeing the challenges many women face in their relationships, I realised there was the need to document my story.
“Many girls are asking questions about choosing the right partner and identifying red flags, but not enough people are willing to have those conversations with them,” she said.
Enyinna said her personal journey and interactions with women seeking such answers motivated her to write the book as a guide for making informed partnership decisions.
She expressed optimism that the publication would help readers to identify unhealthy relationship patterns and encourage victims of abuse to seek help.
Highlighting lessons from the book, she urged young women not to ignore warning signs in relationships.
“We are very big on weddings and preparations, but little attention is paid to the marriage itself.
“Young women need to ask important questions, assess the character of their prospective partners, ensure they share similar values and determine whether they are aligned in their life goals,” she said.
Enyinna also advised women experiencing abuse not to keep silent.
“Do not lose your voice. Support is available, and women should not be afraid to seek help despite societal pressures and judgment,” she said.
She expressed hope that the book would stimulate conversations around informed decision-making and empathy toward individuals facing relationship challenges.
The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the book explores themes of relationships, self-worth, resilience and overcoming adversity, while offering practical lessons for women navigating personal and marital challenges.
During a panel session, a mindset coach and author, Ehi Ade-Mabo, urged women to understand their values and aspirations before marriage, saying that societal expectations often influenced relationship decisions.
Another panellist, Lauretta Ogbum, advised women not to define themselves by failed relationships, describing failure as an event rather than an identity.
She encouraged self-compassion, support-seeking and rebuilding with confidence.
A lawyer, Obianuju Okafor, urged women to protect their assets before marriage through proper documentation and open financial discussions.
She also stressed the need for greater awareness on women’s legal rights, including property ownership and inheritance.
The panellists agreed that self-awareness, self-compassion and informed decision-making were essential for overcoming relationship challenges and achieving personal growth.
In his remarks, a special guest, Dr Abiola Salami, described the book launch as an opportunity for emotional healing and self-reflection.
He said that vulnerability was the first step toward healing because it would enable individuals to confront their challenges and recover from hurts, disappointments and personal mistakes.
Reflecting on the book’s title, Salami said that roses symbolised the beauty and aspirations people would seek, particularly in marriages, while thorns represented the challenges and pains that often accompanied them.
According to him, healing begins when individuals acknowledge their pains and courageously address them.
A marriage counsellor and author, Amaka Chika-Mbonu, emphasised the importance of vulnerability, self-discovery and preparation for marriage.
She said the memoir offered lessons for both women and men, highlighting the need for self-awareness, clarity of values and alignment between partners before marriage.
Chika-Mbonu noted that many people prepared for weddings but failed to prepare for the realities of married life.
Drawing from her 33-year marriage experience, she encouraged women to work on themselves before and during marriage, adding that painful experiences could become a source of purpose and transformation.
She described the book as a testament to resilience, healing and strength found in vulnerability.
Another speaker, Bola Matel-Okoh, described the book as a platform for inspiring women to transform painful experiences into purpose-driven lives.
According to her, stories have the power to inspire hope, build courage and remind people that difficult experiences do not have to define their future.
She encouraged women facing abuse and other life challenges to view setbacks as stepping stones rather than permanent failures, stressing that there would always be light at the end of the tunnel.
Matel-Okoh commended Enyinna for impactful storytelling, saying that sharing personal experiences could help others find strength, healing and the confidence to move forward.(NAN)(www.nannews.ng)
Edited by Ijeoma Popoola
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