Divorce celebration undermines marriage sanctity, discourages reconciliation

‎By Charity Nwosu/Anita Uzoagba

The growing trend of divorce freedom parties is sparking outrage across Nigeria, with many warning that celebrating breakups undermines marriage sanctity and shuts the door on reconciliation.

Some Nigerians made their views known in separate interviews with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Sunday in Abuja.

Some viewed the celebrations as a symbol of healing and new beginnings, others believed the celebration could undermine the sanctity of marriage and discourage reconciliation.

Mr Chidiebere Ezenwa, a divorcee, said although ending an abusive or unhealthy marriage could bring relief, turning divorce into a public celebration diminished the seriousness of marriage.

According to him, ending my marriage brought me peace after years of emotional distress.

‎Ezenwa said some marriages fail because couples no longer share the same values or expectations.

‎”A woman who is combative, aggressive and dismissive of traditional marriage values may undermine the stability of a marriage rather than contribute positively to its success.

‎”Divorce should not be encouraged or celebrated. However, after escaping a traumatic or unhealthy situation, there is nothing wrong with being grateful, healed and move forward with life.

‎”People heal differently. I cannot imagine celebrating a breakup or the end of my marriage, but I will not condemn those who do.

‎”Many divorced individuals face judgment from family and society. Some celebrations are simply a way of saying they have overcome a difficult experience,” he said.

‎Mrs Chinenye Okoli, told NAN that her marriage ended three years ago, adding that divorce should be regarded as a last resort rather than a reason for festivity.

“Marriage is built on commitment and sacrifice. When it ends, there is usually emotional pain and disappointment involved.

‎”Even if the separation is necessary, I do not think celebrating it sends the right message to younger people,” she said.

She, however, acknowledged that for some people, marking the end of a difficult marriage formed part of the healing process.

‎Okoli urged couples experiencing marital challenges to seek professional counselling and mediation before opting for separation.

‎She also stressed the need for stronger family support systems, premarital counselling and conflict-resolution mechanisms to reduce avoidable divorces.

‎According to her, religious institutions, community leaders and families should strengthen support systems that promote healthy relationships and effective conflict resolution.

‎”When divorce becomes unavoidable, the focus should be on ensuring the wellbeing of all parties involved, especially children,” she said.

Also speaking, Mrs Ifeyinwa Nnubia, a marriage counsellor, said social media had influenced perceptions of marriage by creating pressure to live up to unrealistic lifestyles and expectations.

“While celebrating personal freedom may help some individuals recover emotionally, we should be careful not to normalise divorce as something glamorous or desirable.

“Marriage requires patience, commitment and sacrifice. We should encourage couples to seek counselling before deciding to separate, except in situations involving abuse or threats to life,” she said.

‎Nnubia cautioned that divorce celebrations should not trivialise the emotional, social and financial consequences of marital breakdown.

‎She reiterated the need for stronger family support systems, premarital counselling and conflict-resolution mechanisms to reduce avoidable divorces.

‎”Many couples struggle to manage financial challenges and conflicts effectively.

“When problems are left unresolved, they often escalate and result in separation or divorce,” she said.

She advised couples to seek professional counselling and maintain open communication before considering divorce.

An Islamic clergy, mallam Yahaya Garba, advised against publicly celebrating divorce, describing the practice as inconsistent with Islamic teachings and capable of weakening society’s respect for the institution.

He attributed rising divorce cases to weakening faith, poor communication, financial hardship, family interference, domestic violence, unrealistic expectations fuelled by social media and inadequate premarital Islamic education.

‎”Many couples enter marriage without fully understanding its responsibilities and sacred nature,” he said.

‎While acknowledging that divorce may sometimes be necessary, Garba stressed that Islam regards it as a lawful last resort after sincere efforts at reconciliation have failed.

“Marriage is one of the greatest blessings from Allah, and when it ends, it is usually accompanied by sadness and consequences for spouses, children and families.

“If divorce becomes necessary because of harm or oppression, couples should thank Allah privately for relief rather than turn it into a public celebration.

“Islam encourages modesty, dignity and protecting private family matters from unnecessary public exposure.

‎”Celebrating divorce publicly could send the wrong message to society, particularly to younger generations, by portraying marriage as temporary or easily disposable,” he said.

‎According to him, true healing after divorce comes through faith in Allah, patience, repentance where necessary, family support, counselling and personal growth, rather than public festivities.

He advised intending couples to choose spouses based on faith and good character, undergo premarital education, communicate effectively, fulfil marital responsibilities, practise patience and prioritise reconciliation before considering divorce.

Also speaking, Rev. Chidiebere Ohanaka, a clergy, said unrealistic expectations contribute to rising divorce rates.

 Ohanaka said some couples entered marriage expecting continuous happiness and prosperity without adequately preparing for inevitable challenges.

‎According to him, many marriages suffer because spouses lack the patience and commitment required to navigate difficult periods together.

‎Ohanaka said that although marriage remained a cherished institution, modern-day pressures had made it increasingly difficult for many couples to sustain long-term relationships.

‎He noted that poor communication among spouses had become a major challenge in many homes, as busy schedules and competing responsibilities left little room for meaningful discussions and conflict resolution.

‎He added that changing societal attitudes towards divorce had reduced the stigma traditionally associated with marital separation..

The clergy also called for increased public enlightenment on marriage counselling, conflict management and family values to help reduce the rate of marital breakdown.

He stressed that while individuals had the right to leave harmful relationships, greater efforts should be made to preserve healthy marriages and provide adequate support for those affected by divorce. (NAN)(www.nannews.ng)

‎Edited by Dorcas Jonah/